DBT Tools
Practical skills for difficult emotions, distress, communication and moments when everything feels too much.
- DBT stands for Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
- It includes practical skills for coping with distress, emotions, attention and relationships.
- DBT skills are commonly organised into four core areas.
- You do not need to learn everything at once.
- Choose the area that feels most useful right now.
Which area would be most useful?
Open one area at a time. You can return here whenever you want to explore another DBT tool.
DBT & Neurodivergence
DBT skills may need to look different when someone is autistic, has ADHD or processes sensory, emotional and social information differently. Explore ways the tools can be adapted without expecting the person to override genuine needs or differences.
Want to understand DBT in more depth?
ALPIMS gives a simplified introduction to practical DBT skills. These resources provide more information about DBT itself, formal skills training and the original DBT materials.
What is hardest right now?
Choose the closest option and ALPIMS will suggest a DBT area.
Try distress tolerance
When intensity is very high, the first goal may simply be getting through the moment without making things harder.
Try emotion regulation
These skills help you understand the emotion, check what it is responding to and decide what action fits.
Try mindfulness
Mindfulness can help create some distance from repetitive thoughts without needing to solve them immediately.
Try interpersonal effectiveness
These skills help clarify what you want from a conversation while keeping the relationship and self-respect in view.
Distress tolerance
Tools for getting through intense or difficult moments when the situation cannot be fixed immediately.
STOP
STOP creates a pause between an intense feeling and an automatic reaction.
- S — Stop. Do not act immediately.
- T — Take a step back.
- O — Observe. Notice what is happening.
- P — Proceed mindfully. Choose the next action.
TIP
TIP uses the body to help lower very high emotional arousal.
Traditional DBT includes temperature change, brief intense exercise, paced breathing and muscle relaxation.
Intense exercise, rapid temperature change or some breathing exercises may not be suitable for everyone. Physical illness, autonomic symptoms, exercise intolerance and other medical issues may require alternatives.
Self-soothing
Self-soothing means using sensory experiences to make a difficult moment more tolerable.
- comfortable lighting
- soft or familiar textures
- quiet music — or silence
- nature
- a warm drink if suitable
- time with an animal
Self-soothing does not always mean adding pleasant stimulation. Sometimes the most regulating thing is reducing light, noise, smell, touch or conversation.
ACCEPTS
ACCEPTS groups together temporary distraction strategies that can help when focusing continuously on distress is making the situation harder.
The aim is not permanent avoidance. It is giving your system a temporary break.
IMPROVE the moment
IMPROVE brings together small ways to make an unpleasant moment a little easier to tolerate.
This can include imagery, meaning, relaxation, one thing at a time, a brief mental holiday and encouraging self-talk.
Pros and cons
When an urge is strong, compare:
- the immediate benefit of acting
- the immediate cost
- the longer-term benefit
- the longer-term cost
More about distress tolerance
These sources explain DBT skills in the context of structured DBT training.
Return to the four core DBT areas.
Emotion regulation
Tools for understanding strong emotions, reducing vulnerability and choosing an effective response.
Check the facts
Ask yourself:
- What actually happened?
- What did I directly observe?
- What am I assuming?
- What am I predicting?
- Does the intensity of the emotion fit what I currently know?
Checking the facts does not mean dismissing emotion. It separates what happened from what your mind may have added.
Opposite action
Opposite action can be useful when an emotion is encouraging behaviour that does not fit the facts or your goals.
Do not automatically use opposite action against genuine danger, severe sensory overload, physical illness, significant capacity limits or activity that reliably causes substantial symptom worsening.
Reduce vulnerability
Emotions can become harder to regulate when the body and brain are already under strain.
- poor sleep
- illness
- hunger
- medication effects
- sensory overload
- too much activity
- ongoing stress
The aim is not perfect health. It is reducing avoidable strain where possible.
Build positive experiences
Regulation is not only about handling distress. Small positive experiences can give life more than illness, tasks, worry or conflict.
- something enjoyable to watch
- music
- nature
- animals
- a creative activity
- talking with someone safe
More about emotion regulation
For a deeper understanding of how emotion regulation fits within DBT skills training.
Return to the four core DBT areas.
Mindfulness
Tools for noticing what is happening now without automatically reacting to every thought, feeling or urge.
Observe
Notice what is present without needing to fix it immediately.
- a thought
- an emotion
- a physical sensation
- an urge
- something in the environment
Describe
Put simple words around what you notice.
Participate
Return attention to the activity you are actually doing.
It could be as ordinary as making tea, listening to someone, folding laundry or looking out a window.
One-mindfully
Do one thing at a time where possible.
This can be particularly helpful when brain fog, anxiety or overload makes switching between several things difficult.
Non-judgmentally
Try describing rather than delivering a verdict on yourself.
Wise Mind
Wise Mind is the DBT idea of bringing emotional information and logical information together.
Closing your eyes, focusing on internal sensations or doing lengthy meditation is not required. For trauma, dissociation or sensory difficulties, external grounding may work better.
More about mindfulness in DBT
DBT mindfulness is one part of a larger skills-training framework.
Return to the four core DBT areas.
Interpersonal effectiveness
Tools for asking for what you need, saying no, protecting relationships and keeping self-respect in difficult conversations.
DEAR MAN
DEAR MAN can help when you need to ask for something or set a boundary.
- Describe what is happening
- Express how it affects you
- Assert what you want or need
- Reinforce why it may help
- Mindful — stay with the issue
- Appear confident where possible
- Negotiate when appropriate
GIVE
GIVE keeps the relationship in view while you communicate.
- Gentle
- Interested
- Validate
- Easy manner
Validation does not mean agreeing. It means showing that you understand something about the other person’s experience.
FAST
FAST helps keep self-respect in the conversation.
- Fair
- Apologies — avoid unnecessary apologies
- Stick to values
- Truthful
What is my goal in this conversation?
Consider three different priorities:
- Objective: What outcome do I want?
- Relationship: How do I want us to relate?
- Self-respect: What matters to my values and boundaries?
All three can matter, but one may need particular attention in a specific conversation.
More about interpersonal effectiveness
These resources place communication skills such as DEAR MAN, GIVE and FAST within the wider DBT approach.
Return to the four core DBT areas.
DBT Tools
Practical skills for difficult emotions, distress, communication and moments when everything feels too much.
- DBT stands for Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
- It includes practical skills for coping with distress, emotions, attention and relationships.
- DBT skills are commonly organised into four core areas.
- You do not need to learn everything at once.
- Choose the area that feels most useful right now.
Which area would be most useful?
Open one area at a time. You can return here whenever you want to explore another DBT tool.
Want to understand DBT in more depth?
ALPIMS gives a simplified introduction to practical DBT skills. These trusted resources provide more information about DBT itself, formal skills training and the original DBT materials.
What is hardest right now?
Choose the closest option and ALPIMS will suggest a DBT area.
Try distress tolerance
When intensity is very high, the first goal may simply be getting through the moment without making things harder.
Try emotion regulation
These skills help you understand the emotion, check what it is responding to and decide what action fits.
Try mindfulness
Mindfulness can help create some distance from repetitive thoughts without needing to solve them immediately.
Try interpersonal effectiveness
These skills help clarify what you want from a conversation while keeping the relationship and self-respect in view.
Distress tolerance
Tools for getting through intense or difficult moments when the situation cannot be fixed immediately.
STOP
STOP creates a pause between an intense feeling and an automatic reaction.
- S — Stop. Do not act immediately.
- T — Take a step back.
- O — Observe. Notice what is happening.
- P — Proceed mindfully. Choose the next action.
TIP
TIP uses the body to help lower very high emotional arousal.
Traditional DBT includes temperature change, brief intense exercise, paced breathing and muscle relaxation.
Intense exercise, rapid temperature change or some breathing exercises may not be suitable for everyone. Physical illness, autonomic symptoms, exercise intolerance and other medical issues may require alternatives.
Self-soothing
Self-soothing means using sensory experiences to make a difficult moment more tolerable.
- comfortable lighting
- soft or familiar textures
- quiet music — or silence
- nature
- a warm drink if suitable
- time with an animal
Self-soothing does not always mean adding pleasant stimulation. Sometimes the most regulating thing is reducing light, noise, smell, touch or conversation.
ACCEPTS
ACCEPTS groups together temporary distraction strategies that can help when focusing continuously on distress is making the situation harder.
The aim is not permanent avoidance. It is giving your system a temporary break.
IMPROVE the moment
IMPROVE brings together small ways to make an unpleasant moment a little easier to tolerate.
This can include imagery, meaning, relaxation, one thing at a time, a brief mental holiday and encouraging self-talk.
Pros and cons
When an urge is strong, compare:
- the immediate benefit of acting
- the immediate cost
- the longer-term benefit
- the longer-term cost
More about distress tolerance
These sources explain DBT skills in the context of structured DBT training.
Return to the four core DBT areas.
Emotion regulation
Tools for understanding strong emotions, reducing vulnerability and choosing an effective response.
Check the facts
Ask yourself:
- What actually happened?
- What did I directly observe?
- What am I assuming?
- What am I predicting?
- Does the intensity of the emotion fit what I currently know?
Checking the facts does not mean dismissing emotion. It separates what happened from what your mind may have added.
Opposite action
Opposite action can be useful when an emotion is encouraging behaviour that does not fit the facts or your goals.
Do not automatically use opposite action against genuine danger, severe sensory overload, physical illness, significant capacity limits or activity that reliably causes substantial symptom worsening.
Reduce vulnerability
Emotions can become harder to regulate when the body and brain are already under strain.
- poor sleep
- illness
- hunger
- medication effects
- sensory overload
- too much activity
- ongoing stress
The aim is not perfect health. It is reducing avoidable strain where possible.
Build positive experiences
Regulation is not only about handling distress. Small positive experiences can give life more than illness, tasks, worry or conflict.
- something enjoyable to watch
- music
- nature
- animals
- a creative activity
- talking with someone safe
More about emotion regulation
For a deeper understanding of how emotion regulation fits within DBT skills training.
Return to the four core DBT areas.
Mindfulness
Tools for noticing what is happening now without automatically reacting to every thought, feeling or urge.
Observe
Notice what is present without needing to fix it immediately.
- a thought
- an emotion
- a physical sensation
- an urge
- something in the environment
Describe
Put simple words around what you notice.
Participate
Return attention to the activity you are actually doing.
It could be as ordinary as making tea, listening to someone, folding laundry or looking out a window.
One-mindfully
Do one thing at a time where possible.
This can be particularly helpful when brain fog, anxiety or overload makes switching between several things difficult.
Non-judgmentally
Try describing rather than delivering a verdict on yourself.
Wise Mind
Wise Mind is the DBT idea of bringing emotional information and logical information together.
Closing your eyes, focusing on internal sensations or doing lengthy meditation is not required. For trauma, dissociation or sensory difficulties, external grounding may work better.
More about mindfulness in DBT
DBT mindfulness is one part of a larger skills-training framework.
Return to the four core DBT areas.
Interpersonal effectiveness
Tools for asking for what you need, saying no, protecting relationships and keeping self-respect in difficult conversations.
DEAR MAN
DEAR MAN can help when you need to ask for something or set a boundary.
- Describe what is happening
- Express how it affects you
- Assert what you want or need
- Reinforce why it may help
- Mindful — stay with the issue
- Appear confident where possible
- Negotiate when appropriate
GIVE
GIVE keeps the relationship in view while you communicate.
- Gentle
- Interested
- Validate
- Easy manner
Validation does not mean agreeing. It means showing that you understand something about the other person’s experience.
FAST
FAST helps keep self-respect in the conversation.
- Fair
- Apologies — avoid unnecessary apologies
- Stick to values
- Truthful
What is my goal in this conversation?
Consider three different priorities:
- Objective: What outcome do I want?
- Relationship: How do I want us to relate?
- Self-respect: What matters to my values and boundaries?
All three can matter, but one may need particular attention in a specific conversation.
More about interpersonal effectiveness
These resources place communication skills such as DEAR MAN, GIVE and FAST within the wider DBT approach.
Return to the four core DBT areas.