Anna’s Body Had a Smaller Budget Than Her Plans
Anna kept planning according to what she wanted to do. Her body appeared to be working from a different spreadsheet.
Anna woke up one morning feeling unexpectedly reasonable.
This was exciting.
She could answer the emails. Sort the cupboard. Make the phone call. Finish the thing she had started yesterday. Maybe even go somewhere.
By breakfast, Anna had mentally allocated approximately three days of energy.
Unfortunately, nobody had informed her body.
Her body seemed more interested in what things actually cost.
The confusing part was the price
Activities did not come with useful price tags.
This made planning surprisingly difficult.
When Anna felt a little better, she naturally wanted to catch up.
There was always something waiting.
Laundry. Messages. Forms. Family things. Health things. Projects Anna genuinely cared about.
So she would do a bit more.
Then, because she was already doing it, she would do just one more thing.
Anna had discovered that “just one more thing” was an extremely flexible unit of measurement.
Anna’s familiar cycle
“What can I do today and still leave something for later?” was often better.
It wasn’t only physical
Anna initially thought of energy as something used by physical activity.
But her days contained other costs too.
Concentrating. Making decisions. Noise. Worry. Conflict. Appointments. Too many choices. Trying to explain something complicated.
Even enjoyable things could take capacity.
Anna’s budget was not simply how much her muscles could do.
It was the load of the whole day.
Anna did not particularly like the idea of pacing.
It sounded suspiciously like another person telling her to do less with her life.
She had already lost enough things.
She did not want her world made smaller on purpose.
Eventually she began to see a different possibility.
Pacing did not have to mean “do as little as possible.”
It could mean trying to use the capacity she had without repeatedly spending tomorrow’s as well.
Anna started experimenting
Anna’s good-enough line
The goal was not to squeeze the maximum amount out of every better day.It was to build a life her body had a better chance of continuing tomorrow.
Some days the budget was larger.
Some days it was tiny.
Anna was learning that adjusting the plan was not the same as failing the plan.
Anna still sometimes got excited and spent too much.
She still occasionally looked at a surprisingly good morning and attempted to fit Thursday, Friday and half of Saturday into it.
But she was getting better at noticing the moment when useful activity became borrowing from later.
Her plans still mattered.
So did her body.
Anna was trying to build plans that made room for both.
