DBT Skills
Practical skills for getting through difficult moments, understanding emotions, responding more deliberately, communicating needs and navigating relationships.
You do not need to learn every skill. Start with what is happening right now and find something that fits your needs and capacity.
What are DBT skills?
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) teaches practical skills that can help people notice what is happening, tolerate difficult moments, understand and regulate emotions, and communicate more effectively.
The four traditional DBT skills areas are Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation and Interpersonal Effectiveness.
ALPIMS also looks at the context in which a skill is being used. A person may be distressed because of emotion, but they may also be exhausted, in pain, overloaded by sensory input, unwell, confused about what is expected, or facing a practical problem that needs practical support.
Does this need a DBT skill — or something else?
A skill may help, but first check whether something more basic is driving the difficulty.
What do you need help with right now?
Tap the option that feels closest. You do not need to diagnose your state perfectly.
The four main DBT skill areas
Each group has a different purpose. You may use skills from more than one group.
Mindfulness
Skills for noticing what is happening without immediately reacting, solving, judging or pushing the experience away.
- Observe
- Describe
- Participate
- One-mindfully
- Non-judgmentally
- Effectively
- Wise Mind
Distress Tolerance
Skills for very difficult moments when the immediate goal is to get through the situation without making things worse.
- STOP
- Pros and Cons
- Distraction where appropriate
- Self-soothing
- Improving the moment
- Acceptance skills
Emotion Regulation
Skills for understanding emotions, reducing vulnerability and choosing responses that fit the situation.
- Name and understand emotions
- Check the facts
- Notice action urges
- Opposite Action
- Problem-solving
- Reduce emotional vulnerability
Interpersonal Effectiveness
Skills for asking for what you need, saying no, handling conflict and balancing goals, relationships and self-respect.
- DEAR MAN
- GIVE
- FAST
- Clarifying your goal
- Making requests
- Boundaries and saying no
The skill may need adapting
A DBT skill is not necessarily ineffective because someone cannot use it in the standard way.
Autism, ADHD, executive-function differences, sensory sensitivity, communication differences, chronic illness and limited capacity can all affect how accessible a skill is in the moment.
Sometimes the adaptation is the important part: fewer steps, clearer language, visual prompts, more time, sensory support, practical assistance or using the skill earlier — before overload becomes extreme.
Explore DBT & Neurodivergence →An adaptation might mean:
- Using one step rather than a whole sequence
- Writing instead of speaking
- Using a visual reminder
- Reducing sensory input first
- Having another person prompt the skill
- Allowing more processing time
- Recognising shutdown or overload before asking for complex reflection
- Addressing a practical problem instead of treating everything as emotional dysregulation
DBT tools and guides
You don’t have to remember all of DBT. Use a prompt or tool when you need one.
Not everything needs a DBT skill
Sometimes a DBT skill is useful. Sometimes the more useful response is food, sleep, pain management, reduced sensory input, pacing, clearer expectations, practical assistance, medical care, changing the environment, solving a real problem or simply having less demanded of you. The aim is not to regulate yourself into tolerating everything. It is to work out what this situation actually needs.
DBT is only one part of the picture
Regulation & Recovery
Explore overload, activation, shutdown, regulation and recovery.
Explore →Energy & Capacity
Work with changing capacity and the cost of everyday demands.
Explore →Sensory Support
Reduce sensory load and make environments easier to manage.
Explore →Could Your Body Need Something?
Check physical needs before assuming a difficulty is primarily emotional or behavioural.
Check in →Small Changes, Big Relief
Look for small practical changes that could reduce a disproportionate amount of load.
Explore →Build Your Support Map
Look across needs, pressures, capacity and support when several things are happening at once.
Build a map →Start with what is happening now
You don’t need to choose the perfect skill. Notice what is hardest, check whether something more basic needs attention, and choose one small thing that may help.
Explore DBT Tools →